Wanda: When laughs alone can’t make a Magnetic Match last

“My plane won’t start.”

When’s the last time you heard someone say that? Probably never.

When Wanda heard me say it, she burst out laughing. Not at the predicament, but at the absurdity — how could anyone who owns an airplane have anything to complain about? That was her gift, and what made her such a joy: she found humor in everything. Which is typical of her Myers-Briggs type, ENFP.

Here’s why those words crossed my lips…

I used to own and fly airplanes, including the highly modified Aerostar Tom Cruise flew in American Made. Watch the trailer below — in one scene, the actress playing his wife climbs on top of him and they make out while he’s at the controls. Not that Wanda ever did that. But Tom Cruise proved she could have.

Our story was not as steamy. It had more to do with frost, which had settled in overnight, bridging the gap the spark plugs needed to ignite. When I hit the starter switches, the engines didn’t fire. They cranked, but wouldn’t catch.

Later that morning, as the sun warmed the tarmac and the frost melted, the plugs dried out and the Aerostar roared back to life. But in that moment, stuck on the ground, Wanda couldn’t stop laughing.

For me, it was frustration. For her, it was comedy. That was Wanda: finding joy in what I saw as a problem — classic ENFP energy. Her laugh was infections. Endearing. Ever-present. Magnetic.

She could conjure up a sumptuous meal from whatever was in the fridge. No planning required. And she was always the last to leave the party — even as the hosts cleaned up and I’d been ready to go for hours.

Ultimately, her spontaneity — her strength — rubbed against my need for order. We had lived under the same roof for years. Both unhappily.

Myers-Briggs deep dive: INTJ × ENFP

On the surface, INTJs and ENFPs look like opposites. One is methodical, strategic, and future-focused. The other is spontaneous, playful, and relentlessly in the moment. But opposites of this sort don’t cancel each other out — they magnetize.

This pairing is known in MBTI circles as the “Golden Pair.” Why? Because each partner brings exactly what the other lacks:

The INTJ offers structure, direction, and follow-through.
The ENFP offers spontaneity, warmth, and joyful energy.

When it works, this match feels like alchemy. The INTJ gets pulled out of their head and into life’s possibilities. The ENFP feels steadied by the INTJ’s vision and reliability. Together, they create a balance of planning and play, depth and delight, vision and improvisation.

But it’s a high-wire act. When stress or immaturity creep in, differences harden into criticisms:

To the INTJ, the ENFP can feel chaotic, flighty, unreliable.
To the ENFP, the INTJ can feel rigid, controlling, emotionally unavailable.

At their best, this duo is unstoppable — a strategist with a spark, a dreamer with a plan. At their worst, they lock into resentment: one craving freedom, the other craving order.

Compatibility Snapshot: INTJ × ENFP

Strengths

Natural chemistry — “golden pair” attraction is common
Balance of vision (INTJ) and enthusiasm (ENFP)
ENFP helps INTJ loosen up, live in the moment
INTJ helps ENFP focus, commit, and follow through
Shared love of growth, ideas, and possibilities

Challenges

ENFP spontaneity clashes with INTJ need for order
INTJ’s bluntness can wound ENFP’s sensitive feelings
ENFP may feel stifled by INTJ’s structure
INTJ may feel exhausted by ENFP’s energy and unpredictability
Different approaches to conflict: INTJ withdraws, ENFP pursues

Bottom line

INTJ × ENFP can feel like fate — exhilarating, magnetic, full of potential. But to last, each must embrace the other’s opposite style rather than trying to “correct” it. The INTJ must allow for humor in the moment; the ENFP must respect the INTJ’s need for structure for the future.