Size matters

Size does matter — but it means different things to different people:

• To VCs, it means a $10B global market with 350 million people swiping daily
• To end users, it means the size of the text box which constrains what they can say about themselves.

That disconnect isn’t trivial — it’s the root of enduser frustration. And it ties directly to another pain point: cost. Together, they explain why dating apps are one of the most reviled products on the internet.

One way this plays out is in how apps handle bios: they discourage depth. I believe they do it to make more money.

Here’s how: In the tech world, signing up is the beginning of the process called onboarding — as in “bringing you on board.”

These apps track your every click, tap and pause with laser precision. Upload a photo? Easy. Set your location? Done. Choose your age range? No problem.

But then comes the hard part: writing your profile. That’s when people hesitate. They stall. They exit. And every exit is a lost revenue opportunity.

In tech-speak, it’s called friction. Companies don’t want friction between you and their app — and they definitely don’t want friction between them and your wallet.

So they lower the bar. Instead of a comprehensive bio, just a sentence or two. Or nothing at all. Many apps even cap the length of your bio — I believe Bumble limits bios to 300 characters — that’s the length of a tweet — not to help you connect, but to reduce the risk you’ll abandon ship.

Granted, it may be a feature not a bug: maybe apps push shorter bios to improve readability because less text is easier to scan. Or maybe apps push shorter bios because a tight word count forces users to write sharper, more effective profiles.

So no, I don’t believe it’s a conspiracy—I know it’s just business. And the apps are in business to make money. These companies work for Wall Street, not Cupid. They have a fiduciary responsibility to maximize revenue, not relationships.

However, I can say this with 100% certainty: The people who crave depth — INTJs and INFJs — are the ones who suffer. The apps take their money but don’t let them tell their story.

Why depth matters

If you’re desperately seeking depth (yes, Madonna fans, that’s a reference) — or if you want to convey intensity — a few lines won’t cut it.

I’m an INTJ. Depth isn’t optional for me, it’s who I am. When I was on Match, my profile was long, carefully written, and precise. And it was no accident that my deepest connections — Tammy, an INFJ; Corinne, also an INFJ — both had profiles just as extensive, just as well-written. We all craved depth, and we signaled it by writing about ourselves in detail and by thoroughly describing the person we were seeking.

Contrast that with Fiona, an INFP. Her profile was only two sentences long. That doesn’t make her shallow — but it does show how “P” types are less driven to spell out depth in writing. She preferred to reveal herself in the moment, not on the page.

That’s the difference. Some of us use words to show depth because we need to. Others would rather keep it light, short, and spontaneous.

Match.com vs. the “cool kids” apps

Sure, younger people are quick to diss Match as the place for old people — the ones who still use Facebook and have AOL accounts. But for my money (and it is my money I’m spending), I’ll take Match every time. Because it’s the only place I’ve found the kind of person I’m looking for. And that’s saying a lot, because my magnetic match, INFJ, comprises only 1% of the population.

The odds are clearly stacked against me. I’m looking for a unicorn — a one-percenter — and all the cool kids are on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge. But those platforms don’t have what I need: a way to convey depth and a way to see the depth I desire in others.

Why this matters

Of course, none of this may matter to the rest of the world. INFJs make up about 1% of the population, INTJs about 2%. That means my need applies to just 3% of people — and 97% probably couldn’t care less.

What right do I have to complain? After all, these companies are only interested in filling their wallets — and they have every right to.

Who cares if a statistical freak of nature like me can’t say as much as I want on the most popular apps?

What difference does it make?

Lemme tell you: it makes a helluva difference. To me.

And if finding your magnetic match is important to you, it’s important that you understand how these apps work — and fail to work — depending on what matters most to you and your MagneticMatch™.