On alignment and misalignment

Most people think dating is about finding “the one.” But even when you’ve found someone who looks perfect on paper — even when your Myers-Briggs types seem to complement each other, you sync up on lifestyle, on values — you can still end up crushed. Why? Misalignment.

But it is better to show, than to tell. See misalignment here and here.

Let me put it another way: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” — 2 Corinthians 6:14

Myers-Briggs is the best tool I know for creating alignment. It’s the heart of the MagneticMatch strategy™. For me, INFJ is the match that lights up my INTJ wiring. When it works, it feels like magic. But Myers-Briggs is only one dimension. Alignment has many others:

• History → Past experiences, baggage, timing. With Tammy, history was the fault line.
• Pace → How fast or slow someone wants to build connection. With Corinne, our pace was misaligned.
• Energy → How much we bring to the table, and whether it matches. With Karen, energy was the split.
• Interests → Shared passions don’t always line up. One person’s sailing is another’s seasickness.
• Beliefs → Religion, politics, or values can turn into walls, no matter how magnetic the match.

Think of a car’s driveshaft. Even if the engine is perfect, if the shaft is misaligned, the whole vehicle shudders and eventually breaks down. Relationships are the same.

That’s why MagneticMatch™ is a strategy, not a guarantee. Myers-Briggs gives us the best chance at alignment — but misalignment can still appear in other dimensions. Recognizing those blind spots is what keeps us from mistaking fireworks for forever.

When you feel that sting — the “store-brand vanilla” date, the door that closes before you knock — remind yourself: it isn’t failure. It’s misalignment. And misalignment is information. It shows you what matters most, and where to keep looking.

What I’ve built isn’t just about matching people — it’s about matching systems. The same logic that governs MagneticMatch™ also governs design: when two parts are aligned, energy flows effortlessly; when they’re not, friction appears.

Apple’s products embody that principle of alignment — hardware and software in perfect alignment, design and purpose fused. That”s why I’ve been an Apple user since 1986: A Macintosh II with 8mb RAM. And that 8mb of RAM ran both the OS and QuarkXPress 2.11. That code had to be clean and tight. Elegant and efficient.

That machine changed everything for me. It wasn’t just a computer — it was a design philosophy I could touch.

This ad captured what I felt then, and still feel now: design as the Agent of Change. I think MagneticMatch™ is a change for the better.