6 AI giants, 6 giant messes – who’da thunk it?

Amazon

The world’s most efficient operator is torching its own compute budget. Why? Because nobody ever built a provisioning layer. So Amazon runs giant models at full blast — even when a smaller model could do the job. Ninety percent of those FLOPs? Wasted. This isn’t optimization. It’s negligence.

Microsoft

They handed the keys to Sam Altman — a guy with no product discipline, no revenue model, and no idea how to run at scale. Now he’s writing internal memos about “vibes” and economic headwinds. Microsoft didn’t build an AI empire. They adopted a toddler.

Google

Benchmark wins, hallucination disaster. Gemini 3 scores off the charts on reasoning… and then hallucinates 88% of factual queries. That’s not AI — that’s improv. And Google’s rolling it out globally. Either they’re out of options, or they’re betting users won’t notice the nonsense.

Apple

The company that built its brand on privacy, trust, and control is now quietly embedding Gemini — Google’s hallucination engine — into Siri. Apple’s betting the next iPhone cycle on outsourced intelligence it doesn’t govern and doesn’t understand. Someone should tell Tim.

Meta

They won’t admit it, but LLaMA is dead. Adoption is flat. No one wants it. Meta keeps dragging it around anyway, like Jacob Marley’s chains. All that compute, all that marketing, and nothing to show for it but developer apathy and a clunky brand no one wants to touch.

Anthropic

The vibe check of the century: $11 billion in funding, $0 in revenue, and a $350 billion valuation. That’s 30x on vapor. CNBC printed it. Wall Street nodded. Nobody blinked. When this bubble pops, it won’t be because the tech failed — it’ll be because no one asked how it was priced.