5) How to text your MagneticMatch

Texting is where most people blow it. It’s the single biggest reason connections fizzle before they even begin. And yet, texting is also where chemistry can take root and grow.

This chapter brings together practical rules, a step-by-step guide, and examples specific to particular Myers-Briggs types, so you can approach texting with confidence and clarity.

Let’s start with the obvious

• Don’t just send “Hey” (it shows zero effort).
• Don’t hit them with a lazy “like” and think that counts as communication.
• Don’t comment on their appearance (“Hey beautiful,” “Hey handsome”) — it’s impersonal and forgettable and indicates you didn’t read the profile tthey slaved hours over.

Your Magnetic Match has already told you what matters to them — it’s right there in their profile photos and bio. Mine that gold. Your first message should be about them, not about you.

Instead of “Hey,” use something from their profile to spark a connection:

• If they post travel photos → ask them about their favorite trip.
• If they mention a hobby → say why it caught your attention.
• If they quote a book, lyric, or movie → respond with curiosity or enthusiasm.

The principle is simple: demonstrate that your paid attention. It proves you’re genuinely interested in them — not just swiping blindly. And when you engage this way, you don’t just stand out. You also give your Magnetic Match the one thing everyone wants in the early stages: to feel seen.

Open with curiosity, not autobiography

A Magnetic Match will be flooded with attention from others. What cuts through is your genuine curiosity. Start with something about them, not a long paragraph about you.

Wrong: “I live on a boat, I’m a photographer, and I once sold a company.”

Right: “Your line about reading Russian novels made me smile. Which author hooked you first?”

Match energy, but add warmth

For INFJs or INFPs (the most common Magnetic Matches for INTJs), tone is everything. If they send one thoughtful paragraph, reply with one thoughtful paragraph. Don’t out-text them; don’t shrink either.

Signal safety and playfulness

Your Match wants to know you’re both deep and fun. Mix one serious insight with one lighthearted aside. “I liked your point about hiking clearing the mind. For me it’s cooking. Though my soufflé record is… tragic.”

Pace the rhythm

Don’t “machine gun” texts. Let silence do some of the work for you. A well-timed pause shows confidence. But don’t disappear entirely; Matches with strong Feeling functions interpret vanishing as rejection.

Move from text to voice to face

Texts are a bridge, not the destination. For instance, feeling types like INFJs especially want to hear your tone — that’s where they feel resonance. Suggest the move naturally: “I want to hear your voice. Up for a call?”

Calibrate intensity

You may feel fireworks early. But don’t dump your whole heart on day one. Tease intensity: “I have a story about that, but it’s better told over wine than text.” That lets you hold depth in reserve.

Watch for the “door slam” signs

If replies suddenly shrink (from paragraphs to one-liners), take note. A Magnetic Match isn’t ghosting; they’re testing safety. Best response: acknowledge gently, don’t push.

How different types prefer to text

Myers-Briggs gives you clues about how your Magnetic Match prefers to communicate. In a nutshell:

Introverts (I)

Keep it thoughtful and give them space. Short, meaningful texts work better than constant chatter.
Example: “I saw a book you’d love. Want me to send you the link?”

Extraverts (E)

Engage with energy and frequency. They like ongoing back-and-forth and spontaneous updates.
Example: “Just walked by a food truck that smells amazing. We should try it sometime!”

Judgers (J)

Appreciate clarity and follow-through. Confirm plans, respect their time.
Example: “Looking forward to coffee at 10 — still good for you?”

Perceivers (P)

Keep it flexible and playful. They prefer open-ended invites.
Example: “Beautiful day! Want to grab coffee later if you’re free?”

Thinkers (T)

Value logic and directness. Don’t overdo emojis or ambiguity.
Example: “Curious what you think about this article — it made me rethink my approach.”

Feelers (F)

Respond well to warmth, empathy, and affirmation.
Example: “I really enjoyed our conversation yesterday — you made my day brighter.”

Sensors (S)

Ground your texts in concrete details and real-world experiences.
Example: “That café you mentioned is only 10 minutes from me — want to check it out this weekend?”

Intuitives (N)

Love big ideas and possibilities. Spark them with imagination.
Example: “If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would you go?”

Applying the Examples

Texting styles aren’t one-size-fits-all — they depend on your Magnetic Match’s personality. Before you dive into the five examples below, keep this in mind:

The real key is knowing your Magnetic Match. That means going back to How to Spot Your Magnetic Match and reflecting on what truly matters to them. Then follow the links to the in-depth guides so you can tailor your words with precision.

These next five examples — INTJ, INFJ, ENFP, ESTJ, and ISFP — are just illustrations. Use them as inspiration, but rely on what you already know about your Magnetic Match’s personality and what matters most to them.

How to text an INTJ

INTJs are efficient communicators. They don’t want a flood of small talk, and they’re not looking for endless emoji strings. What they do value is substance: a message that shows thought, direction, or a spark of wit. They also respect someone who doesn’t waste words but knows how to use them well.

When texting an INTJ, think “curated.” Choose topics with depth or relevance, and keep the conversation moving forward. A clever insight or a thought-provoking question will get their attention more than flattery or filler.

Do this: “You mentioned you’re into architecture — curious, what’s your favorite building in the world and why?”

Don’t do this: “Heyyy 😊😊 just wondering what’s up?”

How to text an INFJ

INFJs are attuned to tone and intent. They want to feel understood — that you’re paying attention not only to what they say, but also to what they mean. Texts that acknowledge their inner world, their insights, or their values will land deeply. But beware: if you come on too strong or too fast, INFJs can retreat behind their protective wall.

The best approach is thoughtful curiosity. Reflect something they’ve shared and gently invite them to open up further. Keep your messages steady, neither overwhelming them with intensity nor starving them of reassurance.

Do this: “Your note about hiking as meditation stuck with me. Where do you feel most at peace?”

Don’t do this: “U up?”

How to text an ENFP

ENFPs bring enthusiasm and playfulness to nearly everything they do, and they want that same energy mirrored in your texts. Predictable or overly formal exchanges will bore them. They love spontaneity, humor, and a sense that you’re willing to leap into adventure with them.

When texting an ENFP, embrace creativity. Send a playful observation, a wild idea, or even a silly meme that connects to something you’ve discussed. They’ll appreciate the spark.

Keep it lively, but don’t forget to anchor the energy with genuine interest — otherwise it can feel like performance rather than connection.

Do this: “I just saw a street performer juggling fire — it made me think of you. Want to join me on an impromptu adventure this weekend?”

Don’t do this: “Hi. How was your day?” (too flat for them)

How to text an ESTJ

ESTJs value clarity, reliability, and decisiveness. They’re busy people who don’t want to waste time with vague or inconsistent messaging. For them, a text that confirms plans or communicates directly is far more attractive than one that beats around the bush.

Show respect for their time by being concrete and intentional. If you want to meet, propose a date and time. If you want their opinion, ask directly. They admire confidence and competence, and your texts should reflect both.

Do this: “Looking forward to Friday dinner at 7. I’ll grab the reservation. Sound good?”

Don’t do this: “Maybe we should hang out sometime… I’ll let you know?”

How to text an ISFP

ISFPs are sensitive souls who live in the present moment and often express themselves through aesthetics or creativity. They value beauty, authenticity, and emotional warmth. A text that notices something lovely in the world, or that shows appreciation for them personally, will go straight to their heart.

Avoid interrogating them with heavy, abstract questions or long-term plans too early. Instead, keep your texts rooted in the here-and-now, and show that you notice and appreciate the small things that make life rich.

Do this: “The sunset over the marina tonight was incredible. Made me think you’d love painting it.”

Don’t do this: “So… what are your five-year goals?” (too abstract, too heavy)

Conclusion

Texting isn’t about clever lines — it’s about showing you’re tuned in to your Magnetic Match, and what matters most to them.

When you text this way, you’re not just filling a screen. You’re opening the door to resonance that can carry into real life.

Wait for a response. Don’t send two messages in a row — that reads as needy. Let your Match have the space to reply.

But if you haven’t heard back in 48 hours, it’s okay to send one more message to try and reignite the flame. After that, stop. Anything more risks tipping into pressure.

Example of a rekindling text
“Hey, I know life gets busy, but I really enjoyed our conversation about hiking. If you’d like to pick it back up, I’d love that.”