1) How to learn your Myers-Briggs
f you’ve ever thought, “I’m just odd. There is no one for me,” you’re not alone. But you are someone’s type — guaranteed. And finding out is fast, easy, and free.
There are two ways to find your type, and I will give you the pros and cons of each method, but first let me describe the framework so that it is more to you than alphabet soup:
Understanding the four MBTI dimensions
The Myers–Briggs system is based on four dimensions, each with two poles:
1. Introversion (I) vs. Extraversion (E)
2. Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N)
3. Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
4. Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
That’s a total of eight letters. Put four letters together — one each from the pairs in 1, 2, 3 and 4 — and you get your MBTI type — for example, INFJ or ESTP.
But here’s the key: no one is 100% one way or the other. Personality isn’t this/that, on/off, either/or. It’s more like a dimmer, a slider, a battery with a pole at each end.
You may gravitate toward Introversion, but that doesn’t mean you’re never social. You may favor Thinking, but that doesn’t mean you never consider Feelings.
That’s why I recommend the online test at 16personalities.com because it doesn’t merely give you a four-letter type. It also shows how strongly you gravitate toward each pole of the four dimensions.
For instance, you might come out 65 percent Introverted and 35 percent Extraverted. Or you may fall somewhere in the middle of a dimension, the way some people describe themselves as introverted-extroverts.
Remember Introvert/Extrovert is only one of the four dimensions. I’m merely using that particular dimension as an example of the four dimensions listed above.
Knowing which way you gravitate in each dimension is almost as important as knowing your MBTI 4-letter type. It’s the difference between saying “I’m an Introvert” and saying “I’m mostly Introverted, but I can flex to Extravert when I need to.”
That nuance makes MBTI far more precise when applied to dating and relationships.
And for skeptics who say, “I don’t fit in any category. Nobody’s gonna pigeonhole me…”
I say, I agree!
But everyone falls somewhere along the range of each Myers-Briggs dimension. And that’s what makes all of us unique. So you have two options:
The fast way. My friends and I prefer the free test at 16personalities.com via your smartphone or laptop. It’s quick (about 10 minutes), doesn’t ask for a phone number or email, and shows you both your four-letter type and which way you gravitate in each of the four dimensions.
Important: At the end of the test, you will see your 4-letter results instantly, but, you may need to scroll down to see how you gravitate in each of the four dimensions.
So don’t move on until you’ve copied down and/or taken a screenshot of both your 4-letter code and the percentages that indicate your preference for each dimension.
The self-guided way. If you’d rather skip the online test, you can work through the self-guided test, below. By reflecting on your natural preferences in each of the four dimensions, you can identify your type on your own. See below:
1. Introversion (I) vs. Extraversion (E)
Where do you recharge? Alone (I) or around others (E)?
Do you prefer deep one-on-one conversations (I) or lively group discussions (E)?
At the end of a long day, do you seek solitude (I) or social time (E)?
2. Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N)
Do you focus more on concrete facts and details (S) or patterns and possibilities (N)?
When making decisions, do you trust your five senses (S) or your hunches (N)?
Do you prefer step-by-step instructions (S) or exploring the big picture (N)?
3. Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
When deciding, do you emphasize logic and fairness (T) or harmony and values (F)?
Do you prefer frank feedback (T) or supportive encouragement (F)?
In conflict, do you focus on solving the problem (T) or protecting the relationship (F)?
4. Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
Do you prefer schedules and closure (J) or flexibility and keeping options open (P)?
Do you like finishing tasks early (J) or waiting until inspiration strikes (P)?
Do you feel more comfortable with structure (J) or spontaneity (P)?
Once you’ve answered these questions for yourself, pick the letter from each pair that feels most natural. Put them together, and you’ll have your four-letter MBTI type.
Now that you know your type, you can explore the full description of your own — and peek at any others that pique your interest. These guides go well beyond the basics, highlighting each type’s strengths, blind spots, and relationship dynamics.
But before you check out the types, below, here’s a link to Step 2: How to spot your Magnetic Match.